Sometimes When You Win......

Sometimes when you loose, you really Win. When you win, you really Loose. Keep fighting for Yourself and your Kids. In the end Your Children will know who fought for them and truly cared for them. Your prize is knowing that you did all you could. In the bigger spectrum, hopefully there will be one less batterer, or criminal in the world. I am a proud Mother and Non-battered Wife. I do all I can to make my Children happy and successful. When I reach those pearly gates, I can look God in the eye and say, I did all I could has a Mother, and a parent. You may have lost a Court Case, but you've Won a battle or 50 for your Child(ren). Keep up the great work! I know I will......




JJ

Keeping It Real

A Woman is the most important part of an 


equation. Without us, Nothing would be born, 


cared for, nurtured, organized, or kept up. Only a 


real man knows a real woman's worth, and the 


meaning they put in the lives of all! 


Just sayin......


All things are possible with God!!




JJ

I Will Survive

Apologies for Lack of Words..........


I am now the Mother of a baby girl, and she is Amazing :)


The best part, is that she will grow up to watch a stable relationship full of love. That makes me happy. It is attainable after all you have been through, you just have to let it!


A little inspiration from A Music Group called Destiny's Child/Survivor~


I'm Wishing you the best, Pray that you are blessed, bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness, I'm not gon blast you on the radio, I'm not gon lie on you and your family No! I'm not gon hate on you in the magazines, I'm not gon compromise my Christianity, U know I'm not gon dis you on the internet, Cause my Mama taught me better than that! I'm a Survivor, I'm not gon give up, I'm not gon stop, Imma work harder, I'm a survivor I'm gonna make it, I will survive, and keep on surviving! 


Keep on Surviving, the reward is too great to stop now!


Till next time,


JJ

I Am a Woman

You know.........


It is so hard living life after being battered, and having to raise kids with that batterer. In reality you are raising the children and he is just making, the already  tough job of raising a child even harder. However I am a Women, and so I do it. No one can do it like me. He can never take away the fact that. I worked doubly hard to raise stable, well mannered, well educated children. He may be late bringing them, but I always make sure they are on time. He may not pay, but they will always have the things that they need. He may break them, but I will always fix them, and do you want to know why?? It's because I AM A WOMAN. Something I am so proud of, something I am so great at. Something he can never put down because HE is a BOY. He will Never have the strength I have, he will never take away my drive and he will never take away the beauty of ME being a Woman.


So when your miserable batterer makes you upset, tries to take away your shine. Tries to tell you. you're not good enough, or even tries to take your Victory........


You just remember one thing; a Woman never gives up on her children, She may be beat, put down, or stalked, but the one thing a Woman will do is forever protect and love her children. No matter what she will keep them safe.


I have a beautiful home, not because of the material items, but for the laughter, the constant chatter, even though I ask for silence, the ability to teach what love is and to receive love when it is given back. I am loved by a Man, and I have boundaries, I am able to be myself and love fully, and in return he can as well have those same rights. My home has constructive arguments, without tension/or yelling! 


Again, I am free to be Me.......


So when your batterer feels the need to put you down, start a problem, hurt your children. Lie in court and make them believe him. Just remember he is only as big as you let him be in your life, You have the capability to rehabilitate your children, and you don't have to give up in court. You know why??


You are a WOMAN...


No one can ever take that from you, and if you feel down and out because of something your batterer has done to you, think about all the wonderful things you have done, as a Woman without him in your life, all the things you wouldn't have been able to do if you would have stayed, and all the fighting you can still do, to get your life back....


I Just did, and looks like I got a whole lot of fighting to do. Why don't you join me. Man, Woman, or Child, we all have a story. One thing that cannot be taken from us, is the happiness we refuse to let go of.


I refuse to let my abuser, take my God given right to just be, you know why???


I AM A WOMAN ;0)




JJ 

Legislative Meetings for the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence

This Thursday and Friday were two very productive days!! On Thursday, the first day of conference I learned a great deal about Legislative bill HB 1080. This bill would allow the domestically abused, male and female victims to keep their address undisclosed for four years and allow those to stay in hiding and renew via email and not through an application assistant. At this time Victims must seek out an application assistant to renew their application, and there are very few per County. This could cause delay in renewal and would put a Victim at higher risk of being found by their batterer. We then had a small break and then lunch with some of the legislators or legislative representatives. Lunch was a huge success I believe. It was very nice to meet The Assistant for Representative Conti. We had a very extensive conversation on Domestic violence and my experience in dealing with a CFI. I informed her of my trials and tribulations and expressed much of my concern for the future of our children. It was amazing to see her concern for the topic grow. I am looking forward to hearing from the Representatives office, and hope to help better Colorado in the near future. We ended the day off with Legislative Training given by Colorado Speaker of the House Terrance D. Carroll. He was an amazing speaker, and very down to earth. Mr. Carroll gave advise and answered questions about how to speak and relate to legislators, and did a fantastic job!


Friday Started out with breakfast with Representative Nancy Todd, a dynamic Woman and a strong supporter against Domestic Violence. I enjoyed listening to her speak and her personal insight on the topic of Domestic Violence. I would like to give a personal and very warm Thank you to Representative Todd for all of her hard work and dedication to a very important cause!!


After breakfast we all walked to the State Capitol to talk to the Legislation individually about HB 1080, and also to advocate more supporters for the Domestic Violence Fight! I was assigned Senator Nance Spence. I was very nervous to speak with Senator Spence, but like Representative Todd, I found her to be quite Dynamic! I was able to speak to her about HB 1080, and also about funding for Domestic Violence programs, and my concern about CFI's in Colorado. She was very receptive to all I said and even said she would vote yes on HB 1080, after reading the full bill. She also addressed my concern for the lack of accountability CFI's have in Colorado, and has started an investigation in Arapahoe County. Senator Spence is a very warm and intelligent Woman. She is very aware of the problems our children face within the court system and has taken initiative to help stop the problem. I Thank you Senator Spence for your time speaking with me and listening to my concerns.


I will continue to advocate against Domestic Violence and feel very hopeful at this time for the future. I have never felt so happy about facing a challenge head on, than I do today. Please leave your stories or comments on this blog. You never know, Legislation may hear your voice as well.......


JJ

Answers, If You Can Help Do!!

It appears we have been heard, now we need to press the State Court Administrator's Office (SCAO)  DORA & our Legislators for implementation to avoid the same fate of the 2002 Report which wasn't, causing more children to be harmed.

 

http://www.courts.state.co.us/Courts/Supreme_Court/Committees/Committee.cfm/Committee_ID/25    Scroll down on the site to access the report. 

Recommendation #1:  Limit the Scope of the Order of Appointment, change the Chief Justice Directives by:

• Establishing a cap either on number of hours or total cost, without further order;
• Limiting psychological testing to a qualified professional who is not the CFI and upon court order; and
• Establishing decision points to consider prior to an appointment or establishing a requirement for the court to enter a finding prior to an appointment.

Recommendation #2:  Centralize and Clarify Complaint Process, change the Chief Justice Directives by:

• Establishing a statewide complaint investigation protocol for districts that includes timeframes and outcomes reporting;
• Establishing a standard information form for parties as to their rights and responsibilities, responsibilities of the CFI, and complaint process;
• Establishing centralized complaint form and submission;
• Setting forth contents of CFI file and requirements/timeframes for disclosure of file;
• Standardizing CFI billing protocol and format;
• Standardizing CFI report format;
• Providing graduated sanctions for CFI misconduct or violation of standards; and
• Establishing timeframes for filing CFI reports, objections and/or supplemental information.

Change the Statutes by:

• Provide clarification to DORA's authority to review complaints pertaining to the CO Mental Health Practice Act.  [Need all families support with their Legislators, SCAO, & DORA contacts below to push for elimination of the quasi-judicial immunity Statute 12-43-215-(7)]

Recommendation #3:  Standardize the Qualification Process, change the Chief Justice Directives by:

• Requiring that SCAO performs criminal background checks for all CFIs except for CO licensed attorney-CFIs and identifies associated disqualifying factors;
• Establishing that a CFI has an affirmative duty to report any violations related to the disqualifying factors;
• Requiring that CFI attends SCAO approved/provided training;
• Establishing that SCAO verifies training completion and continuing education requirements; and
• Establishing a CFI mentoring program.

Recommendation #4:  Maintain a List of Qualified CFIs, change the Chief Justice Directives by:

• Establishing a statewide list of qualified CFIs for districts to appoint CFIs.

Recommendation #5:  Formal Adoption of PC Standards

Committee recommends adoption of the Standards set forth in the Standing Committee White Paper titled Court Appointments of Parenting Coordinators:  A Resource for Courts and Professionals, in addition to the identification and implementation of a statewide policy that addresses such things as qualifications, fees, training and complaint process.

 

Recommendation #6:  Modify Chief Justice Directives consistent with Recommendations.  The Standing Committee on Family Issues will establish task groups to implement recommendations.  The subcommitee should be multi-disciplinary and include rural and urban representatives.  [This is our chance to get directly on the committees and press the State Court Administrator's Office to ensure the Recommendations are implemented]

 

Legislators - http://www.leg.state.co.us, click on Contact Information.  Tips for maximum impact on legislators:  Be brief, be polite, include a few reasons, and contact info.  If you don't know who your legislator is - http://www.votesmart.org/index.htm.

 

Chad Edinger, Court Auxiliary Services Coordinator                               

Colorado State Court Administrator's Office

Ph: 303-837-3605

chad.edinger@judicial.state.co.us

Bill DeLisio, Family Law Program Manager

Colorado State Court Administrator's Office

Ph: 303-837-3623

bill.delisio@judicial.state.co.us

Bryan Jameson, Policy Analyst

DORA - Executive Director's Office, Office of Policy, Research & Regulatory Reform
Ph: 303.894.7833

Bryan.Jameson@dora.state.co.us

Saul Larsen, Policy Analyst

DORA - Executive Director's Office. Office of Policy, Research & Regulatory Reform
Ph: 303.894.7833

Saul.Larsen@dora.state.co.us

 

We need to begin work with our legislators as the session begins 1/12, including thoroughly scrutinizing any family court or court appointed expert related bills introduced.    http://www.leg.state.co.us/, click on Status and Calendar.  Legislative season ends May 2011.

We need your support please to push these Recommendations through and close the gaps that led to the abuses of the system that so many of us have experienced, resulting in harm to our children.  Please distribute widely.

United for Change,

Moms4ChangeNow@gmail.com
 

I Have Been Answered.....But Still Stuck

After the Letter, I did get  response right away. Mr. Edinger referred me to Amy Miller who is Public Policy Director. She gave me some referrals in which I have used before, but at the same rate the abuse by my ex continues. Ultimately Court is the answer and after a terrible experience like that, who wants to go back!? However, I will be registered to share my story with Legislation by Friday. I will not be intimidated!! I will name drop and tell them why this system should change! I will go back to court as well, However very prepared.......


I will tell you how it goes!


JJ