I Am a Woman

You know.........


It is so hard living life after being battered, and having to raise kids with that batterer. In reality you are raising the children and he is just making, the already  tough job of raising a child even harder. However I am a Women, and so I do it. No one can do it like me. He can never take away the fact that. I worked doubly hard to raise stable, well mannered, well educated children. He may be late bringing them, but I always make sure they are on time. He may not pay, but they will always have the things that they need. He may break them, but I will always fix them, and do you want to know why?? It's because I AM A WOMAN. Something I am so proud of, something I am so great at. Something he can never put down because HE is a BOY. He will Never have the strength I have, he will never take away my drive and he will never take away the beauty of ME being a Woman.


So when your miserable batterer makes you upset, tries to take away your shine. Tries to tell you. you're not good enough, or even tries to take your Victory........


You just remember one thing; a Woman never gives up on her children, She may be beat, put down, or stalked, but the one thing a Woman will do is forever protect and love her children. No matter what she will keep them safe.


I have a beautiful home, not because of the material items, but for the laughter, the constant chatter, even though I ask for silence, the ability to teach what love is and to receive love when it is given back. I am loved by a Man, and I have boundaries, I am able to be myself and love fully, and in return he can as well have those same rights. My home has constructive arguments, without tension/or yelling! 


Again, I am free to be Me.......


So when your batterer feels the need to put you down, start a problem, hurt your children. Lie in court and make them believe him. Just remember he is only as big as you let him be in your life, You have the capability to rehabilitate your children, and you don't have to give up in court. You know why??


You are a WOMAN...


No one can ever take that from you, and if you feel down and out because of something your batterer has done to you, think about all the wonderful things you have done, as a Woman without him in your life, all the things you wouldn't have been able to do if you would have stayed, and all the fighting you can still do, to get your life back....


I Just did, and looks like I got a whole lot of fighting to do. Why don't you join me. Man, Woman, or Child, we all have a story. One thing that cannot be taken from us, is the happiness we refuse to let go of.


I refuse to let my abuser, take my God given right to just be, you know why???


I AM A WOMAN ;0)




JJ 

Legislative Meetings for the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence

This Thursday and Friday were two very productive days!! On Thursday, the first day of conference I learned a great deal about Legislative bill HB 1080. This bill would allow the domestically abused, male and female victims to keep their address undisclosed for four years and allow those to stay in hiding and renew via email and not through an application assistant. At this time Victims must seek out an application assistant to renew their application, and there are very few per County. This could cause delay in renewal and would put a Victim at higher risk of being found by their batterer. We then had a small break and then lunch with some of the legislators or legislative representatives. Lunch was a huge success I believe. It was very nice to meet The Assistant for Representative Conti. We had a very extensive conversation on Domestic violence and my experience in dealing with a CFI. I informed her of my trials and tribulations and expressed much of my concern for the future of our children. It was amazing to see her concern for the topic grow. I am looking forward to hearing from the Representatives office, and hope to help better Colorado in the near future. We ended the day off with Legislative Training given by Colorado Speaker of the House Terrance D. Carroll. He was an amazing speaker, and very down to earth. Mr. Carroll gave advise and answered questions about how to speak and relate to legislators, and did a fantastic job!


Friday Started out with breakfast with Representative Nancy Todd, a dynamic Woman and a strong supporter against Domestic Violence. I enjoyed listening to her speak and her personal insight on the topic of Domestic Violence. I would like to give a personal and very warm Thank you to Representative Todd for all of her hard work and dedication to a very important cause!!


After breakfast we all walked to the State Capitol to talk to the Legislation individually about HB 1080, and also to advocate more supporters for the Domestic Violence Fight! I was assigned Senator Nance Spence. I was very nervous to speak with Senator Spence, but like Representative Todd, I found her to be quite Dynamic! I was able to speak to her about HB 1080, and also about funding for Domestic Violence programs, and my concern about CFI's in Colorado. She was very receptive to all I said and even said she would vote yes on HB 1080, after reading the full bill. She also addressed my concern for the lack of accountability CFI's have in Colorado, and has started an investigation in Arapahoe County. Senator Spence is a very warm and intelligent Woman. She is very aware of the problems our children face within the court system and has taken initiative to help stop the problem. I Thank you Senator Spence for your time speaking with me and listening to my concerns.


I will continue to advocate against Domestic Violence and feel very hopeful at this time for the future. I have never felt so happy about facing a challenge head on, than I do today. Please leave your stories or comments on this blog. You never know, Legislation may hear your voice as well.......


JJ

Answers, If You Can Help Do!!

It appears we have been heard, now we need to press the State Court Administrator's Office (SCAO)  DORA & our Legislators for implementation to avoid the same fate of the 2002 Report which wasn't, causing more children to be harmed.

 

http://www.courts.state.co.us/Courts/Supreme_Court/Committees/Committee.cfm/Committee_ID/25    Scroll down on the site to access the report. 

Recommendation #1:  Limit the Scope of the Order of Appointment, change the Chief Justice Directives by:

• Establishing a cap either on number of hours or total cost, without further order;
• Limiting psychological testing to a qualified professional who is not the CFI and upon court order; and
• Establishing decision points to consider prior to an appointment or establishing a requirement for the court to enter a finding prior to an appointment.

Recommendation #2:  Centralize and Clarify Complaint Process, change the Chief Justice Directives by:

• Establishing a statewide complaint investigation protocol for districts that includes timeframes and outcomes reporting;
• Establishing a standard information form for parties as to their rights and responsibilities, responsibilities of the CFI, and complaint process;
• Establishing centralized complaint form and submission;
• Setting forth contents of CFI file and requirements/timeframes for disclosure of file;
• Standardizing CFI billing protocol and format;
• Standardizing CFI report format;
• Providing graduated sanctions for CFI misconduct or violation of standards; and
• Establishing timeframes for filing CFI reports, objections and/or supplemental information.

Change the Statutes by:

• Provide clarification to DORA's authority to review complaints pertaining to the CO Mental Health Practice Act.  [Need all families support with their Legislators, SCAO, & DORA contacts below to push for elimination of the quasi-judicial immunity Statute 12-43-215-(7)]

Recommendation #3:  Standardize the Qualification Process, change the Chief Justice Directives by:

• Requiring that SCAO performs criminal background checks for all CFIs except for CO licensed attorney-CFIs and identifies associated disqualifying factors;
• Establishing that a CFI has an affirmative duty to report any violations related to the disqualifying factors;
• Requiring that CFI attends SCAO approved/provided training;
• Establishing that SCAO verifies training completion and continuing education requirements; and
• Establishing a CFI mentoring program.

Recommendation #4:  Maintain a List of Qualified CFIs, change the Chief Justice Directives by:

• Establishing a statewide list of qualified CFIs for districts to appoint CFIs.

Recommendation #5:  Formal Adoption of PC Standards

Committee recommends adoption of the Standards set forth in the Standing Committee White Paper titled Court Appointments of Parenting Coordinators:  A Resource for Courts and Professionals, in addition to the identification and implementation of a statewide policy that addresses such things as qualifications, fees, training and complaint process.

 

Recommendation #6:  Modify Chief Justice Directives consistent with Recommendations.  The Standing Committee on Family Issues will establish task groups to implement recommendations.  The subcommitee should be multi-disciplinary and include rural and urban representatives.  [This is our chance to get directly on the committees and press the State Court Administrator's Office to ensure the Recommendations are implemented]

 

Legislators - http://www.leg.state.co.us, click on Contact Information.  Tips for maximum impact on legislators:  Be brief, be polite, include a few reasons, and contact info.  If you don't know who your legislator is - http://www.votesmart.org/index.htm.

 

Chad Edinger, Court Auxiliary Services Coordinator                               

Colorado State Court Administrator's Office

Ph: 303-837-3605

chad.edinger@judicial.state.co.us

Bill DeLisio, Family Law Program Manager

Colorado State Court Administrator's Office

Ph: 303-837-3623

bill.delisio@judicial.state.co.us

Bryan Jameson, Policy Analyst

DORA - Executive Director's Office, Office of Policy, Research & Regulatory Reform
Ph: 303.894.7833

Bryan.Jameson@dora.state.co.us

Saul Larsen, Policy Analyst

DORA - Executive Director's Office. Office of Policy, Research & Regulatory Reform
Ph: 303.894.7833

Saul.Larsen@dora.state.co.us

 

We need to begin work with our legislators as the session begins 1/12, including thoroughly scrutinizing any family court or court appointed expert related bills introduced.    http://www.leg.state.co.us/, click on Status and Calendar.  Legislative season ends May 2011.

We need your support please to push these Recommendations through and close the gaps that led to the abuses of the system that so many of us have experienced, resulting in harm to our children.  Please distribute widely.

United for Change,

Moms4ChangeNow@gmail.com
 

I Have Been Answered.....But Still Stuck

After the Letter, I did get  response right away. Mr. Edinger referred me to Amy Miller who is Public Policy Director. She gave me some referrals in which I have used before, but at the same rate the abuse by my ex continues. Ultimately Court is the answer and after a terrible experience like that, who wants to go back!? However, I will be registered to share my story with Legislation by Friday. I will not be intimidated!! I will name drop and tell them why this system should change! I will go back to court as well, However very prepared.......


I will tell you how it goes!


JJ 

Fighting and Looking for Results-My Letter to Court Auxiliary Services Coordinator Colorado State Court Administrator's Office

Hello Mr. Edinger, 

We spoke about a month and a half ago, and I had just lost my case to my Ex due to a bad CFI. Now life for me has gotten worse and worse. My Ex husband has changed the schedule whenever he deems necessary,  and then demands for me to pick up the children or alter my schedule to go with his unauthorized changes. If I do not comply, he threatens to take me to court. I am scared to go back to court due to my previous experiences, but do not know what else to do. One of my children has a learning disability and has a court appointed counselor to deem when he is ready to go to his Father's home full time. She has not authorized any additional time with the exception of one overnight and one dinner night. Since then My Son has gotten in trouble at school 3 times and behavior has changed dramatically. Without authorization of the counselor my ex has added an extra day, this weekend. I consulted my Son's counselor and she said she did not authorize the change and was just discussing some changes with my son Eric. She gave My ex a call to explain and to also re schedule the appointment with our Son he had missed and he never called her back. However he implemented the change on his own. After implementing the change, he is refusing to bring the children home. I am sick with the flu and I asked him to bring the children home, he refused. So I told him to make sure to have the children to school on time tomorrow. Now he has done nothing but harass me and send many text messages threatening to take me back to court. I have gone above and beyond to adhere to the schedule the court gave and now, anytime he wishes he changes it, threatening to take me back to court. I cannot live this way any longer Mr Edinger. I am being battered, over and over again, and the system has allowed this. How do I fight back?? How do I put this abuse on my children and myself to a stop? Please any suggestions.

Thanks,

It's Amazing, Think About This.....

It's Amazing, you endure the physical and the emotional abuse from your batterer and you wonder...


What did I do to deserve this, and finally you figure out you did nothing and it's all him. He is one warped twisted individual, and now his life's goal is to make your life a living hell. So you leave, but you have his Children. Since you are struggling he leaves you with the children alone without any support. 


Then you begin to have support and he wants to enter the children's lives just to mess yours up. You go to court, the court allows the battering to continue, by allowing a CFI to lie, you not to prove your case and then on top of that tell the batterer he's forgiven after putting you down as a mother. It's disgusting!


 Now My batterer seems to think it's okay to throw that day in my face every chance he gets. When things don't go his way, which generally means I am not going above and beyond to make him happy, he threatens court again. Well you know what I am fed up!!!!! Take my tail back to court then. I am no longer your victim and I am going to live my life. I deserve my time with my children as you do your time. 


However I will not be frightened of the court system and allow my batterer to continue to batter me!!!


If you don't want to bring the children home on time, then keep them another day. I am not going to stop what I am doing and come and get them because you changed the schedule around. I am worthy of a life outside of our children, and I no longer have any connection with you!! I will hold my end of the parenting plan and if you cannot hold yours up then, give them to me and when you can come get them on your parenting time let me know. No more will I cater to your schedule, give you extra time, or put up with your excuses. It's not my job!! 


Time to step up Ladies!! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE THE VICTIM. Call their bluff from time to time, stop being scared.


It's a learning process, I am still learning too. One step at a time. One No at a time. One I am worth it at a time. Believe me, we as women are worth it. When things are broken who has to fix it?? We do. So whether we fix it while being a victim or while loving ourselves, We are much more supportive after loving our selves. This Crap has  to end sometime. 


Think About It!!!!


Aren't You Ready Yet?????

We Are Getting Out There!!!

Hello Justice,

 

I applaud you for starting your website.  We have been networking and trying to spread the word of efforts for Justice.

 

Chief Justice Mullarkey responded to a January 2007 direct letter from parents, testimony by mothers including myself before the House Judiciary Committee against SB09-069, and Recommendation 69 A-F of the Final Report of the Commission on Families in the Colorado Courts (August 2002) by tasking the State Court Administrator's Office (SCAO) to make recommendations for Child Family Investigator (CFI) and Parenting Coordinators (PCs) reform by September 2010.  These Interim reforms were published August 23.  http://www.courts.state.co.us/userfiles/file/Administration/Executive/Standing%20Committee%20on%20Family%20Issues/Interim_Report_to_Chief_Justice_062310.pdf.  Final Report was due December 1, but I haven't seen it yet.

Reforms were suggested in 2002 and again in 2003, but died due to considerable pushback by unethical practitioners. Significant opposition occurred in 2010 also, limiting Legislative and Judicial approval once again.

As you know, the role of the CFI in Colorado is very powerful. As the “investigative arm of the Court”, they enjoy quasi-judicial immunity, are subject to no body of regulation, report only to the District Court, with the opinion of the CFI as omnipresent.  This also applies to court-appointed Parental Responsibility Evaluators (PREs), Guardian Ad litems (GALs), Decision Makers (DMs), and Parenting Coordinators(PC).  See attached No Jurisdiction = No Accountability pictorial.

These psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers and attorneys are taking advantage of the system as court appointed assignments are not subject to any insurance payment maximums. They are able to earn $200 - $400 an hour; without any oversight or accountability, background checks, verification of training requirements, competency assessments, continued qualifications, or standard investigation protocols.

The proposed Reforms seek to address this as the SCAO learned our state Licensing Board (DORA) is not protecting Colorado's families and children. The report highlights ~ 60 complaints per year have been dismissed due to the quasi judicial immunity granted by C.R.S. 12-43-215(7). The CFI role has been in effect since 1998, totaling 720+ dismissed complaints at DORA alone with no accountability for fraud, perjury, or false child abuse allegations which have taken children away from deserving parents. 

I've been to the Sheriff, the District Attorney, the FBI, DORA, the American Psychological Association, the Chief Judge, the District Court Administrator, the SCAO, and the Office of the Child's Representative -- all of whom claim no jurisdiction. My complaint is one of the 5 mentioned before them in the Report on pg 3, however there isn't a process to continue investigating it. Recommendations #2 and #4 seek to change this.

For more information, please contact the State Court Administrator's Office directly:
Chad Edinger
Court Auxiliary Services Coordinator
Colorado State Court Administrators Office
101 West Colfax Ave, Suite 500, Denver, CO 80202
phone: 303-837-3605
fax: 303-837-2340
chad.edinger@judicial.state.co.us

and

Bill DeLisio
Family Law Program Manager
Colorado State Court Administrator's Office
101 West Colfax, 5th Floor
Denver, CO 80202
(o) 303-837-3623
(f)  303-837-2340
bill.delisio@judicial.state.co.us

The reforms are also supported by Knowyourcourts.com, Three Sides to Every Story, and the Equal Justice Foundation.

 

Sincerely,

 

Moms4ChangeNow@gmail.com